Birbal ki kahani

Ek baar, Akbar ke darbar mein ek randi ne mujra kiya. Woh item badi hi KANTEELI NACHANIYA thi. Itni sollid wo naachi ke sabke tatte tight ho gaye. Akbar bahut khush ho gaya. Usne randi ko kaha, “Jamnabai, bol tujhe kya inaam chahiye meri jaan? Sona-chandi, heere-moti, jaageer… kya chahiye, bol. Agar teri kisise dushmani ho to bhi bataa de… uski behen chod di jayegi.”

Randi muh maange inaam ki baat sunke bahut khush hui. Par woh bahut hi bhenchod kism ki aurat thi. Uske gandu dimaag mein to kuch aur hi tha. Woh Akbar se boli, “Jahanpanah, jaan ki salaamat mile to kuch arz karoon”. Akbar waise hi uske naach pe bahut senti tha. Woh bola,”Jo marzi maang, Jamna darling. Randi boli,
“Jahanpanah, mujhe aapki raajgaddi pe tatti karni hai.”

Pehle to Akbar ko samajh hi nahin aaya ki kya yeh randi bawli gaand to nahin ho gayelii hai? Lekin woh maNaa bhi nahin kar sak rella tha… chutiya promise jo kar baithella tha. Usne randi ko kuch aur maangne ke liye kaha, par randi bhi bahut shaani thi… woh nahin maani. Akbar bhi bechara kya karta, usne 15 din baad ki date de di. Usne socha ki baad mein randi pe pressure dalwa ke cancel karwa doonga, par bhen ki laudi maan hi nahi relli thi.

Jab Tatti-day nazdeek aa gaya , Akbar ki gaand bahut zyaada phat gayi… usne us waqt Birbal ko yaad kiya. Usne Birbal se kaha ki “Boss, ab mughal sultanat ki izzat us ke haath mein hai”. Birbal ne bhi Akbar ko promise kar diya ki chaahe usey apni maa gali-gali chudwaani pade, woh mughal sultanat ki izzat pe aanch nahin aane dega. Akbar bhi nischint ho gaya.

Finally Tatti-day aa gaya. Akbar to raat bhar so bhi nahin saka. Bhenchod ki khud ki tatti band ho gayi. Subah-subah randi ne darbaar mein grand entrance maara. Kehne lagi, “Jahanpanah, main teen din se nahin hagi hoon… jaldi se raajgaddi pe
tatti karne ki vyawastha kijiye.” Akbar ne phatti gaand ke saath Birbal ki taraf
dekha. Birbal to shaana hus-hi-hus rella tha. Apni seat se khada hua aur bola, “Jamnabai, tu ne tatti karne ki demand ki thi… so karo. Lekin agar ek boond bhi moot nikal aaya to yeh talwaar ****** mein ghusa ke gaand se nikaal doonga.”

Randi ko samajh aa gayaki is baar uska paala kisi andu pandu se nahin, Birbal se pada hai. Bhosadiki chup-chaap apni badi gaand uthake ghar chali gayi.

Ek baar phir birbal the great behen ke lode ne mughal saltanet ke gaand phatne se bachali…